Ichiro

From The New York Times:

As Suzuki nears a record ninth straight season of 200 hits, he seems little concerned with how his unique approach is embraced by a society that digs the long ball.

“Chicks who dig home runs aren’t the ones who appeal to me,” he said. “I think there’s sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I’d rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out.”

I don’t get how anyone could ever say that he is a “potential” Hall of Famer. He should be a unanimous first ballot choice. He’s one of the best pure hitters ever. His ability to consistently get these weird infield hits is so underrated. He’s won an MVP, batting titles, plays great defense, and lead the Mariners to the record for most wins in a regular season back in 2001.

I’d say he and Rickey Henderson are the best leadoff hitters ever.

Ichiro is the man.

Owl Be Seeing You, Stiggsy

YO.

According to Stiggers, of ilovestiggers.com fame, Christmas is around the corner. And you know what that means.

Everyone gets presents. Everyone except Jesus, who may never even have been that buff.

Do we still think Jesus was white? I’ve never met a white native Middle Easterner.

That’s why according to KRS-ONE, Jesus was black.

I hope that when he came up with the clever Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone acronym, KRS-ONE included himself in the “nearly everyone”, because I’m pretty sure Jesus was not white, not black, but Israeli.

I’ll tell you who is black, though. This guy:

My friend KC is tight with Lamar Odom (in his mind). I got a message from KC the other night telling me that a friend of his had occasion to meet Big O, and mentioned KC’s love and admiration for him. KC’s friend asked for a memento, and Odom gave him a pair of game-worn sneakers to give to KC.

Now, that is pretty good, but what do you do with those sneakers? Just keep them in a glass case in your apartment, or do you wear them around even though they are five sizes too big?

My move would be to leave them by the door, as if Lamar was your guest.

Back to Stiggers, he just wrote a blog in which he tried to out-hippo the Hippo King.

http://ilovestiggers.com/2008/12/01/i-love-st-nicholas-stiggers/

Did he succeed? Perhaps. All I know for sure is,

1. I am awesome at gin
2. I am about to drink some Dewar’s 12
3. I am jet lagged
4. Owl be seeing you on the flipside

Hi. How Was Your Day? Tonight I’m Staying Up Late.

If you asked me how my day was, I would just tell you, Tonight when I got home the first thing I did was take a swig of Makers from the bottle and crack open a Miller Lite. Miller Lite is so bad ass, right???

I should clarify that I don’t really like Makers. This bottle, it was like my test for if I like Makers or not, and Makers freaking FAILED. A bottle of Makers is not worth $24. Not when you could get a bottle of Dewars Special Reserve for $4 less, or a bottle of Glenfidich 12 year for the same price. Come on. Makers: overrated. As fuck.

Speaking of cursing, tonight I was at the Dodgers-Phillies game (Phillies going to the World Series, bitches!!!! – not that I am a Phillies fan, but they got a good team and I respect all things Philadelphia, know enough solid people from there), and on the back of the ticket it mentions that you should keep all chatter child friendly. Well, this dude behind me clearly did not flip over his ticket because he was cussing up a storm. Here is a direct quote, one of many such sentences: “What the… fuck, you motherfucker, fuck the Phillies, this motherfucker thinks he’s– what the fuck, fuck you!!” Classy. His girl didn’t seem to mind, though. And she was alright. Clearly I’m doing something wrong

Who are these idiots who yell shit all game from the upper deck? No one you’re yelling at can hear what you’re yelling. You may as well say it quieter, or think it to yourself.

And people yell the same things over and over. One guy kept yelling, “Throw at his head!” Another, “Let’s go Dodgers!!” And another kept whistling. It was like the background of a Hanna-Barbara cartoon, repeating itself again and again.

Props to Manny, though. One of the greatest right-handed hitters ever – maybe one of the greatest hitters, period. Yep, I believe that.

I’m about ready to toss my motorcycle off a cliff. That machine will be the death of me. It’s always something with that fucker. Come on, baby, just be okay, just for a while, so I can have some piece of mind. At least I’m learning how to fix it. My brother is a bike mechanic, so it must run in the family… although, he and I are nothing alike.

So.

Cardinals Shirt

My favorite shirt is a St. Louis Cardinals shirt. A few times when I’ve worn it someone has asked if I am from St. Louis. When I say that I am not, the person has been like, So you’re a poseur.

I used to note that the Cardinals were my brother’s favorite team growing up, or that I am from the Midwest, or that I just like baseball in general, but now I just admit that when it comes to wearing this shirt, yes, I’m a poseur, wearing the shirt because I like how it looks.

The shirt was given to me by a gracious ex; it formerly belonged to her brother, who is also not from St. Louis. So me wearing the shirt is a poseur wearing a shirt formerly belonging to another poseur.

Double poseur power, DPP.

It is an awesome shirt and I’m gonna wear it today. If I had to wear one shirt every day for the rest of my life, it’d probably be a black undershirt, but this Fartinals shirt is my fav.

Beach Volleyball

All I gotta say is, how is beach volleyball a sport?

Beach volleyball is something I play when no one has a football.

Or a frisbee.

Or any Flamin’ Hots. As in Cheetos.

Bolt Charges Ahead

After Usain Bolt won the 100 meter dash, setting a new record of 9.69, a couple of the other runners interviewed were talking about his accomplishment, how this new record will never be approached.

Really? Why would any sensible person think that? Did he break a record that’s lasted a hundred years? No, he broke his own record, which was set May 31st.

That’s May 31, 2008.

Which is the current year we are in.

So he broke his own record, set about two and a half months ago.

Predicting no one will ever break that record is like predicting that, after five years, there is no way any writer could up with more crazy hijinx for the fellas on “Two and a Half Men”.

It seems to me the record time in the 100 meter dash is broken at least once every two years. So predicting that the latest record will never be broken is just absurd. And dumb.

Walter Dix, you are dumb. I’m sorry, but you are.

Walter Dix is the American who came in third in the race, who was wearing sunglasses for a foot race that took place at 10:30 pm.

“Hmmm, I need to be as fast as possible, so I can’t wear anything unnecessary that will add extra weight to my body… these sunglasses seem necessary… even though it’s dark out… and there is no sun… have you seen my gold chain?”

That is a direct quote.

Also, I feel like the media needs to talk more about how much of an assface Usain Bolt is for slowing down and celebrating for the last 10% of the race, rather than running hard all the way through. He could’ve set a record that would truly have been tough to break, that would probably have lasted at least three years.

And yes, I realize I called the Olympics boring about a week ago. I still am not so into them. But I watched them, because they were on, and I was at my parents’ pad.

Also, I think I am getting fat.

Who Cares About the Olympics?

Who in their right mind gives a shit about the Olympics? It’s all just overblown sports exhibitions. The Olympics sucks.

And they’re in Beijing for godsakes. I guess Zimbabwe was taken. Oh snap.

I say, screw the Olympics. I’d much rather watch a rerun of Two and a Half Men. Or curl up by the radiator with a good book.

Beijing ‘08? More like Boring ‘08.