Sneezing

The other night I woke up in the middle of the night, which happens to me a lot. It was 2:30. Then I sneezed 14 times in a row. That does not happen often.

Amazing. 14 sneezes in a row? I sneezed 8 times in a row, and then about every 20 seconds I would sneeze again. Towards the end it was torture, because I never knew if the sneeze would actually come out.

Ha… ha… ha… my nose would tickle… ha… and then finally an eruption… choo!

 

BLAMMO!

KA-ZAAMA!

It was horrible. And plus it was in a hotel room I was sharing with this guy, whose name is Guy, and he was snoring loudly and haphazardly.

You know how when someone is snoring in the same room while you’re trying to sleep, you just want to punch them in the face? Literally you want to punch that person in the face, or at least in the chest, or throw a bucket of ketchup on them or something. It seems like a reasonable thing to do in that situation.

I of course did nothing about it. I just thought about strangling him, as I sneezed 14 times, which somehow didn’t wake Guy up, and then eventually I fell back asleep.

14 sneezes. That is my new personal best.

Whistlin - The Dream (MC Aaron and zimlinghaus.com). Listen to it! It was played on Sirius radio, on two different shows - Wake Up With Cosmo, and Cocktails With Patrick. Niiiice.

Palmer

Did you guys realize that Robert Palmer is dead??!?

I did not know this, until I was listening to my favorite song of his (”I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On”) early this morning, and decided to look him up on Wikipedia.

He died nearly five years ago. I wonder why I did not know this.

After his third album, he moved to the Bahamas. Yeah, he’s kind of cool. Just a little bit:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9P2hoO088lc

(Sorry, you gotta cut and paste).

West Coast Style

3:30 in the afternoon and I haven’t gone outside. I’m waiting on a package. Three packages, in fact.

Here I am in sunny LA, cooped indoors because FedEx is playing their little game with me. They supposedly “tried” to “deliver” the packages on Saturday, when “nobody” was “here”. Uhhhh, yeah, I was kind of in Santa Cruz. Sorry, FedEx, that I couldn’t be here the exact second you were.

I have only been in LA one day, and I am already the biggest loser here. I have not gone outside - save going from the train station to the car, from the car to the apartment - and I have only three friends. This is not like The O.C. at all!

It is kind of like season 1 of 90210 though, if I am Brandon and Brenda. Except for Brandon wound up in a hot tub with a hot girl a few days in, so…. we’ll see.

Why won’t FedEx come already????? What is this, some kind of fucking joke?!

I need to clip my toenails but my scissors were thrown out at the airport by the security lady.

And I am so hungry.

I am listening to depressing ass Band of Horses, which reminds me of being depressed while seeing them play for free at McCarren Pool.

Once these packages come, I am going outside to explore, and to become popular.

No Man Is An Island

A happiness that is sought for ourselves alone can never be found: for a happiness that is diminished by being shared is not big enough to make us happy.

-Thomas Merton

True-idge.

Well Played, Mosquito… I Guess.

6/25/08 Sleep Log:

• Asleep at 2 am.
• Awoken at 7 am by a mosquito whispering in my ear. Her goal, she buzzed, was haematophagy.
• Between 7 and 7:15, I slapped my back and face between 25 and 30 times.
• At 7:16, exhausted, I rose, unable to sleep with the threat of an itchy bite looming.

Clearly the mosquito I slaughtered a couple days ago was related to this one. She was out for revenge.

I know it is not good to make generalizations, but I think all mosquitoes are jerks and I hate them all.

On a more positive note, I love this song:

Just Another Day - Jon Secada

Generic Questions

From now on, I refuse to respond to generic questions and statements. I have been getting a lot of this:

1. L.A., huh?
2. You won’t like it there.
3. Did you know that everyone there is materialistic?
4. How are you going to get around? You will need a car. What are you going to do about that?
5. Are you going to get a job?

I mean, if these are the questions that are popping into your head, just say NOTHING. You don’t have to talk just to fill up the space.

How am I supposed to answer your questions? Yes, L.A. I am going there to become shallow. Shit, I need a car there? What will I do? Oh no! I was planning on taking the train or walking everywhere! I guess I will just sleep in the gutter and die of starvation, especially since I didn’t realize I was going to have to get a job. And you say I won’t like it there… I wish I’d known that before I decided to move there!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Oh, and by the way, this is a fake beard and eyebrows… I am not who you think I am… or am I??????

Bad Move, Mosquito

Your first mistake was flying right in front of my face. I was writing an email and you flew by my face. I bet you were looking for a spot to land.

You want to feed on my blood. You don’t even care that if you do so, you’ll be giving me a bump that could itch for days. You are selfish.

Sure, you fly around in a zig zagging motion, but eventually you always have to land somewhere. That’s why I’m not going to chase you around trying to catch you between my clapping hands like some cheering fool.

I will play the waiting game.

Overconfident, you landed on the side of my mattress, even though I, your enemy, was laying right there. I measured it out, and BLAMMO, I wacked your winged, slender body against the side of the mattress, killing you on impact, leaving you on the floor as a warning to all your little blood-sucking friends.

Stay out of my room.